When the two of you first parted, you might not have thought at all about how to get your ex back. At this point, however, you might not even remember whose idea it was that the breakup occur, now that the pain and anger have softened. You may not know where to start, but you do know that you are ready to get your ex back. If you want some help improving your chances, take a look at these do’s and don’ts:
1. Be willing to get professional help. Preferring to solve their own problems, many people, especially men, don’t like the idea of going to counseling. If you are sincere in wanting to know how to get your ex back, then be open to counseling. You could discover that counseling is a chance to learn a new perspective that you wouldn’t be able to learn in any other way.
2. Flowers and gifts will not get your ex back. Unless she somehow gets the feeling of attraction back, she probably won’t consider returning to the relationship if she’s already lost the feelings she had for you. It is unlikely that any gift you give her will modify the way she views you personally.
3. Don’t be a pushover. Even if she complained during your relationship that you were too overbearing, that doesn’t mean she wants a man who isn’t strong enough to stand up to her. Likewise, hinting that you will do yourself bodily harm if he doesn’t take you back is not likely to get the amorous result you are looking for.
4. Do not become an obsessed stalker. You will not successfully get your ex back by chasing him and calling him every five minutes. If you do this, you may be pushing your ex to run away in the other direction, because stalking is never well received. He is able to think for himself and will want to do so. It is very unlikely that he will be persuaded by your harassment.
5. Trying to use jealousy to get your ex back is one of the worst things you can do. Going out on a date with a new person and making sure that all your mutual friends know you’re back in the game could backfire – and your ex might think that you didn’t really care much in the first place.
6. Written relationship advice frequently cites the benefit of rediscovering what initially brought the two of you into your relationship. It’s important to remember, however that people change, and what was once attractive could now be an irritant. Instead, think of things that your partner has mentioned or responded to in a more positive way recently. Chemistry can be one of the most important ingredients to help you get your ex back and the most impressive thing you can do may be something that seems insignificant to you.
7. Apologizing sincerely for the hurt you’ve caused will go farther than anything else you can say, if you are to blame for the break-up. It will take more than the phrase, “I’m sorry” to make a heartfelt apology. Include an explanation of why you are sorry that will let your ex know you understand how your actions have been hurtful so that he or she will believe you will never hurt them again.
A number of factors impact the outcome of your efforts, you may get your ex back easily or the relationship may have ended for good, and you’ll need to accept that fact. However, a thoughtful approach has more potential for a positive outcome than one that is reckless.
